Why Dress Up?

Last week one of my friends posted a question on facebook "Why is it so widely acceptable to dress casual for church but not for funerals or weddings? Isn't church just as important of an event as weddings and funerals, if not more important?"

I learned the importance of dress when I was 18 years old. I had been elected as a member of the church board, and whenever there was a board meeting on Monday nights, I would just come dressed up as I was, usually in jeans and a t-shirt. Nobody took me seriously. I had attributed this to my age (the next youngest member on the board at that time was twice my age), and thought that everyone still considered me a child. However, one day I came dressed up with a button-up shirt, a tie, and dress slacks. I forget what the occasion was, maybe it was that I had a date or a job interview right before I came to the church. In any case, I noticed that the adults on the board treated me with more respect that normal, and realized that it had a lot to do with what I was wearing at the time.

What you wear affects the impressions that people have about you. This is why people tend to dress up when you are trying to make a good impression on someone, including but not limited to a job interview, a hot date, or a businessman trying to sell a product or service. We dress up so that other people are more willing to do what you are asking them to do.

As a teacher I have taken this to heart. At the school I worked at in South Korea I often dressed up to class to set an example to the students in my care. In Hong Kong I have not been as diligent due to the tropical climate, but I still dress well on days that I know I will be meeting with parents. I also delibrately teach this to my high school students, so that when they go off to the real world, they are armed with the knowledge of how to affect the opinions of people around them so that they can be successful in their own endeavors.

So where does church fall into this equation? I grew up in a church where the pastor expected every male to wear a sports jacket, tie, and dress slacks every week at church. However, while I was in college, I attended a church service in Jasper Tennessee where the only men not wearing blue jeans were myself and the pastor. There is no commandment in the Bible that states "Thou shall wear nice clothes to church". There are examples of expectations for modesty found in the Jewish culture of Jesus' time, but those rules stressed the importance of dressing is such a way that you do not attract attention.

Ever since becoming an adult, I always tried to dress my best at church. However, about one year ago, I had a major change in thinking while attending church. I was going on an afternoon hike with a colleague after the church service was finished. This person was a highly respected individual, and came to my church that Sabbath so that we could simply go to the park after we finished eating at the church potluck. I dressed nicely, as my apartment building is right next to the church I attended. My colleague had a 90 minute drive to my church, and he decided to come to church wearing sweat pants and a t-shirt. At first I was miffed, but then I asked myself why it an issue.

Why should it matter how we are dressed for church? Why was I dressing up for church? Church is not meant to be a place for you to show off to other people. Jesus made that clear in his parable about the Pharisee and the tax-collector who came to pray at the Temple. When I dress up as nicely as I can for church, people notice me, and go out of their way to compliment me on my clothes. This breaks the spirit of of what church is meant to be.

I stopped dressing my best for church. I usually simply wear a pair of slacks and a short-sleeve button-up shirt with no tie. To be honest, it has affected to amount of warmth that I receive from the other parishioners. I am still greeted at the door with a smile, and a few people come to talk to me or shake my hand, but not as much as before. People are less likely to come sit next to me (except for little kids, they still seem to gravitate my way). I also no longer have people coming to me before or after the service saying "nice suit" or "I like your tie". The conversations that I do have revolve around either wishing each other a happy Sabbath, or around theological discussions, and are not focused on the clothes we are wearing. Even though this can feel more lonely or disconnected, I feel that it is an improvement in the quality of my relationship with God when I am more focused on Him rather than what others are thinking of me.